When I grow up, I want to be an old woman.

Today is the first day of the last year of my twenties. I now present you with some random babbling in list form, and also all of the wisdom I have gained in 29 years. Well, maybe not all of it, but that which I can recall after a very long day.

  • If at first you don’t succeed, continue to completley screw it up in every way imaginable until you get it right.
  • If you aren’t learning from your mistakes, then you aren’t paying attention, dumbass.
  • Chocolate chip cookie dough is 100% better 24 hours after you make it.
  • You can teach yourself just about anything if you are just patient with yourself. 
  • I dropped my Blackberry in the toilet 2 1/2 months ago and downgraded to a regular phone. I don’t miss that thing even one bit.
  • You probably shouldn’t ignore that pain your chest or the “check engine” light in your car. I’m not an expert or anything…I can only speak from personal experience.
  • If all of your friends and sisters are telling you that he’s an idiot, and that you shouldn’t call him…he’s most likely an idiot, and you probably shouldn’t call him.
  •  You’re way too hot for that bullshit anway.
  • If you want a really expensive piece of equipment and have to go through 7 people to get it, you should do all of your research before asking for it.
  • It’s a lot easier to teach those who want to learn.
  • It’s totally okay to ask for help.
  • My love for lard is getting out of control.
  • I can’t stop eating ranch dressing. On just about everything. I know. Gross.
  • Pasta at midnight for weeks on end is the fastest way to develop love handles.
  • Don’t underestimate the power of sunblock on your face. Like, for real, yo.
  • Buttermilk ice cream is the new black. 
  • There’s always someone cooler than you.
  • Pleasure rolls on too early, and trouble leaves too slow.
  • German chocolate cake has nothing to do with Germany.
  • I love my sisters. They are the best.

That’s all I’ve got.

72 Responses to “Confessions…and some things I’ve learned”

  1. Alice Q. Foodie said:

    Jul 11, 10 at 11:45 pm

    This is great – I’ve been contemplating doing one on turning 40 but haven’t gotten around to it yet (thought it would be fun to have 40 things, but we’ll see!)

    You are, indeed, way to hot for that shit. ;)

  2. Sarah Jacobs said:

    Jul 13, 10 at 12:00 am

    You ARE way too hot for that (even though I’ve never met you, I just know) and it is TOTALLY OK to ask for help (I have to tell myself this often) and …. I really like your take on there’s always someone cooler. That’s deep, really. Makes you think……

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